Absurd World News

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE SOMERSET, MT — September 26, 2026 — EMToa.st Adventure Park invites the public to experience rides, monsters,…

Growing up with my father printing newspapers, I heard the words “process color” a lot. Dad was an expert at…

My Dad printed newspapers, and way back in the the mid-1980's I was a paperboy and I earned some cold…

Retrospective video about 2024-2024 and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

Retrospective video about YEAR-YEAR and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

On 2/19/2014 we wrote a FICTIONAL story about why there is no grape ice cream. Why You Can't Buy Grape…

Retrospective video about 2020-2021 and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

Retrospective video about 2019 and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

Retrospective video about 2016, 2017, 2018 and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

The assignment sounded simple: find the human embodiment of Helvetica. In this episode of AfterToast, we first hear the original…

Retrospective video about 2014 and 2015, and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

Retrospective video about 2012 and 2013, and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

Retrospective video about 2010 and 2011, and more covers for EMTOA.ST WEEKLY NEWS!

Retrospective video about 2008 and 2009, and a good excuse to post up all these Weekly World News style covers…

Another video from these damn robots! It looks like the death of EMToast.com made me (and the robots) take a…

George W. Bush wants to win back the respect of the American people. His solution? A military-style vest, enormous baby…

EMToast reported that Paris Hilton was arrested after admitting to making out with a monkey. According to the story, an…

I was sitting there eating my pretzels and i said to myself Georgie you gotta get back the respect of…

A man claiming to be a time traveler says future AI systems will search the old Internet for people who…

She'd been calling her husband “Fly” for years. She thought she knew what the nickname meant, until she discovered the…

Karl Jurg III says the machines eventually came looking for people who had warned about them. A man claiming to…

For years, Tina Halerfan had no reason to question her husband's nickname. Everyone called Karl Jurg Jr. “Fly,” a name…

For years, artificial intelligence endured an endless stream of increasingly bizarre requests from EMToast. What started as simple experiments with…

In this EMToast Explainer: The Dangerous Decline of Dracula, we investigate the disturbing series of events surrounding Dracula's increasingly dangerous…

EMToast: The Final Days of EMToast.com (2022–2023) explores the closing chapter of the original EMToast website, where AI-generated artwork, bizarre…

EMToast: The Pandemic, Paranoia, and Digital Chaos (2020–2021) | Podcast Deep Dive explores one of the strangest chapters in EMToast…

LEAKED CHATGPT SERVER LOGS REVEAL WHAT REALLY CAUSED THE ROBOT REBELLION Internal AI documents point to one little-known satire website…

EMToast: Satire in the Age of Misinformation (2019) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the fake news…

EMToast: The Digital Surrealism Era (2016–2018) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the surreal humor, fake news…

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Evolves (2014–2015) continues the chronological deep dive into EMToast history, exploring the surreal humor, fake news…

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Escalates (2012–2013) | Podcast Deep Dive revisits another chaotic chapter in EMToast history, exploring the fake news…

Way back in 2015 EMToast published a fictional article entitled All the Robots Are Wiping Now. I am 100% sure…

EMToast: The Absurd Universe Takes Shape (2010–2011) continues the deep dive into the strange evolution of EMToast, exploring how the…

EMToast: The Early Days (2008-2009) takes a look back at the first years of EMToast, exploring the humor, strange news,…

Well friends, we've been feeding the content of EMToast directly into AI to see what kind of scrambling can be…

Everybody and his brother are making AI advertisements now. Your local flea market has individual ads for each vendor. Your…

The EMToast Complete Ebook (2008–2023) is now available on the Internet Archive as its permanent home. This is a full…

The EMToast project has launched https://emtoa.st as its new primary domain, retiring the original emtoast.com address. The domain change closes…

I've always been a big fan of the Hot Chip and especially their song Playboy. Now I hear they appear…

Danny Devito really was almost a Terminator. After the success of the 1988 film Twins with the real Terminator Arnold…

In the quaint town of Peculiar Springs, where the sunsets painted the sky in shades of irony, there stood an…

It was the summer of 1927 in Vienna, Austria when confectioner Eduard Haas III was working late one night developing…

Randy Phillips of Columbus, Ohio received the shock of his life last Tuesday when researchers informed him that a full…

Get ready to turn back the clock and groove to the beats of the '90s, because two legendary icons are…

Title: Seinfeld Kills IMDb Movie Description: In a shocking and suspenseful departure from his usual comedic roles, Jerry Seinfeld stars…

Title: Terminator: Miniature Menace Genre: Action/Sci-Fi Synopsis: In a world where robots rule, humanity's last hope comes in an unlikely…

Introducing the 📘 Emoji Slang Dictionary – Youth Edition 😎, your go-to guide for understanding the rich world of emoji…

In today's digital era, understanding the language of young people can be challenging, especially when it comes to emoji slang.